USA v. Argentina
Copa America Group Stage Round One.
Starting lineups….
Argentina looks considerably scarier than the US lineup.
BENNY BENNY BENNY!
He is the great Jewish Austrian-Brazilian-American hope. That and maybe if Twellman can convert a chance.
Kickoff – Twellman got a haircut. He is very pretty looking, is that a good or bad thing? Pretty boys are rarely dangerous, but then maybe he will be overestimated.
1:00 – So far I have understood no words, and the announcing is still better than the announcing of Max Bretos.
3:00 – Three minutes in. We haven’t been finished off yet. If we can hang in there for a half then maybe we can lose by less than 12 goals. That’s the dream anyways.
4: 00 – Biggest issue so far is that Twellman has the yellow (avocado) boots and Johnson doesn’t. He must not have got the memo; ya know the one where all the strikers have to wear boots that don’t match the US uniform.
4:40 – The first real chance for Argentina, cleared out by Jimmy Conrad, the only 33 year old rising star on planet earth.
6:00 – I like saying Estados Unidos way better thn United States. WAYYy better. And right now Eddie Johnson, Ricardo Clark and Marvel Wynne are the three hottest Negroes from Les Estados Unidos. And that is fact, and possibly inappropriate for me to say.
7:00 – Great pass and Eddie Johnson makes the right moves…PENALTY United States. That is a huge deal for the U.S. But who takes it without Landon Donovan or Damarcus Beasley.
EDDIE DOES. That’s one way to get a national team goal, as long as he doesn’t miss it.
8:00 – GOAL USA. Eddie really took that like a seasoned pro. I’m actually kind of shocked. What a dang good start to this game. And his boots don’t match.
10:00 – Who would have thought at this point the U.S. would be up 1-0 on Argentina. This is a good start for Los Estados Unidos. I am Captain Obvious. Did we score too soon, did we wake the sleeping giant, did Max Bretos explode at his home residence while watching, then cry bitterly about not being the one who made the call. I’m pretty sure that Bretos would have compared Eddie to the Great Maradona. I would have liked that.
11:00 – GOAL HERNAN CRESPO. That didn’t last very long. Horrible work for the US on the Argentina freekick. That was really really really horrible. Now we are even.
Did we wake the sleeping giant….yeah probably.
-Are they gonna pour it on us now? I don’t know, shake it off U.S.
13:20 – Eddie Johnson looks good, he just got fouled making a good run. That’s two more good runs than he made all Gold Cup.
-Estados Unidos really looks pretty good right now, don’t look outclassed and have controlled possession. Granted we are only 15 minutes in.
16:10 – US has another chance with the cross, too long. I imagine right now the announcers are probably talking about how great Ben Olsen looks. But I don’t speak Spanish.
18:00 – They are pounding on Feilhaber so far. Also, he got a new haircut. Him, Ben Olsen and Twellman. AND THEY ARE LOOKING GREAT OUT THERE! Feilhaber is going to get a new club just based on that hair, English football look out.
20:00 – This is still a knotted up match. That’s cool. Still think that Kasey Keller will have to stand on his head for us to get out of here with a tie or better.
21:00 – Justin Mapp just did a hell of a job against Javier Zanetti going into the corner. Nice defense.
22:10 – US fights off two corners and another cross from Riquelme….look solid on the D that time down. It’s a drag the Argentina goal came on such a lame play. Otherwise I would be bursting with the ole’ confidence if ya know what I mean.
24:15 – Jonathan Bornstein steals the ball from Lionel Messi. You get the feeling that he is going to be excited about that later. And that is worrisome, he’s that green. I’m surprised he didn’t stop and take a picture. Or ask Messi for a clipping of his hair. But what better way is there to get blooded. Ya know, other that playing a team he can compete with.
25:15 – Bornstein does a good job against Messi again. Didn’t love him in the Gold Cup but looks good so far here.
26:15
Me – “What do you think of the game so far, Meagan?”
Meagan – “Soccerific.”
….that says it all doesn’t it.
The announcers just had a conversation about Brad Guzan and Chivas USA…weird. I know this because I heard the words Brad, Guzan, Chivas, and USA.
28:30 – Jimmy Conrad is only 30, I fact-checked it. I feel horrible for slandering his good name. English clubs take note.
-also, has anyone else noticed that Jonathan Bornstein is slightly hunchbacked…I wonder if that will get worse as he becomes a better player….Quasimodo.
31:00 – US earns a freekick in a good spot. But who takes these. Landy does everything usually. PKs, freekicks, the laundry, pep talks, psotgame massages…
Benny Feilhaber badly misskicks it. Wasted opportunity.
33:45 – Messi makes a move and crosses, headed away by Conrad. First time Messi has really been involved, you can’t expect him to be that uninvolved for the whole game. But if he is, at least we get a break because they will bring in….Carlos Tevez. So that will be really great……
-and if the US strikers don’t do well, no problem, we just bring in….Hercules Gomez. Great news.
37:00 – Eddie makes another good run. US man o’ da match so far. But doesn’t go after the defense when he gets stuck in the corner. Feilhaber makes an errant pass. We need to get a shot off in those situations. Abbondonzieri might really be the weak point of this Argentine side. And he doesn’t even suck.
39:45 – Argentina has a good opportunity. Crespo kicks the volley wide.
42:00 – Great save by Kasey Keller on Veron. Off the hand, off the bar. What a rip. Defense looked weak on the long through ball, although Wynne made up well before Argentina moved the ball across the field for the shot.
43:20 – Johnson made another great run but couldn’t turn on the jets or make the moves to get in on goal. That’s what he’s missing. And I’m missing Max Bretos’ call – “He’ll want to turn this into a track meet.”
45:00 – If we get into the half without any goals you have got to be happy with this if you are a US soccer fan. Only one minute of extra time. They haven’t exactly played inspired, but the Argentines are playing down to their level.
45:40 Benny makes Abbondonzieri make a decent save. First shot on goal of the game for the United States.
The Half.
Like I said, gotta be happy with the first half. 1-1 against one of the toughest teams in world football. Although they don’t look like it. Expect an Argentine side with a head of steam for the second half. They are much better than they have looked so far. Pray that they don’t wake up, because then the U.S. is going to have a chance. And a chance is all we can hope for isn’t it. ISNT IT!
-Also I don’t even mind not having the commentary. I trust the Spanish speaking announcers are saying something good, and that’s enough for me. Max may have lost me forever.
START OF SECOND HALF
Lets see how this turns out. I’m biting off my fingers. Eddie has to find a way to finish a play this half. Also where the heck has Taylor Twellman been?
1:40 –I’m back at starting my minutes from zero because that’s what Telafutura does and I’m not gonna do the math.
2:30 – Not loving Benny’s passing. He tends to be very errant.
3:15 – The US defense handles itself admirably again against the more talented Argentines.
4:15 – and again. But The Argentines are breaking out much too easily, the D can’t do that all half.
5:30 – Veron looks like he is wearing a bald cap, does he even have eyebrows?
7:00 – Big freekick again for the US. This ball needs to at least be on goal. I say no to Feilhaber here. I base my decision on the only freekick I have ever seen him take. Which sucked. Although I badly wanna be on the Feilwagon.
- Mapp goes high with it. Not exactly any freekick specialists on the pitch for the US.
9:00 – Eddie doesn’t do enough when he gets the ball. A striker of his diminutive size should have some skills on the rock. And have some confidence making runs at defenses. Because Landon Donovan is not out there trailing him tonight.
10:20 – PELIGROSA. Crespo gets a foot on a long cross dangerously close to the goalmouth. Goes wide.
- The game still hasn’t opened up. At what point does Argentina start to throw some weight forward. I suppose they are confident to keep at it for at least another 15 minutes before bringing in Tevez and really going after it. If the US can keep it together until then, then maybe they can get a counter when that happens. That is wishful thinking, but at least I’m thinking.
12:24 – Cambiasso off, Aimar on. Mapp make a run beyond the defense, Milito takes him out along the side of the box and gets a yellow. But Mapp looked like he didn’t know what to do when he got there. Also Twellman has his pants all bunched up, what is that about.
- Another freekick that finds no US heads in the area.
15:40 – Messi misses after burning the right side of the US backline. That was alarming, hits side netting.
16:50 – SUB Eddie Gaven for Ben Olsen. I know almost nothing about Eddie Gaven. I know that Ben Olson was on the cover of Fifa 2001 in the US, why, because he is the most dominant force in modern soccer. And now he is on the bench. I don’t like our chances. OR DO I?
18:00 – Taylor Twellman tries a side volley and gets blocked. Halfway through the second half and …..
well….there’s this.
GOL GOL GOL….Hernan Crespo scores a goal. Defense got shredded. We needed a big save from Keller, but he didn’t come through either. Now this gets really interesting. Would not be surprised if Argentina gets another one here quickly and seals it.
20:27 – Eddie Johnson seems to waste whatever space he gets on the attack, always stpping and passing the ball back. Also Ben Olsen is off the field and Argentina scores…. need I say more.
22:00 – Demerit/Bornstein did a good job against Messi’s try to finish this thing up. He’s probably got more moves than anyone they’ve seen. Except maybe Nery Castillo, that man is PELAGROSA!
SUB 23:40
Hercules Gomez in for Taylor Twellman. And now the South American Soccer powers are shaking in their adidas.
24:50 – Not that you need a specific thing to look at to tell the difference in class between these teams, but if you want one thing. Look at how badass the Argentines look. If you want two things, look at the passing. Fluid, smart, crisp. Accurate.
27:00 – US controls for a second but a lackluster cross by Mapp. Then again, only one man in the area to find. Can’t completely blame the man.
28:00 – Quasimodo takes a yellow for a hard tackle from behind. Tonight he will cry in his belltower. But he sure loves Esmerelda.
28:45 – Argentina does have freekick specialists, but they go back to the floating ball in that worked for the first goal and Keller pulls it off the head of Heinze.
- At this point the US is going to do something, and I think that something might be to start throwing more men forward. Which could really end in more goals for Argentina if it fails. I don’t care, this is a tournament, and I’m not looking for a 1-2 loss. I want a tie or a 1-9 loss. Screw respectability. Bob Bradley, ARE YA WITH ME!
32:00 – 13 minute left, time to do something beyond rolling over and dying….
33:00 – Golazo! That ‘bout does that. Aimar with the header off the beautiful cross. A lot of US defenders in the area….all of them watching Aimar run past. Ouchie.
Messi off, Carlito on.
35:00 Another bad free kick from the USA. No one left on this roster has apparently ever tried one of those before.
Kyle Beckerman in. I don’t know who for. Because I was peeing. And I don’t speak Spanish. Beckerman, known for his hair, not for his national team success. Though I have seen him before for the Nats unlike Eddie “The Invisible Man” Gaven.
- A fully loaded US squad would have had a chance tonight. I really believe that. A little Brian Ching up front. Landycakes. The team on the field now has no confidence going forward. I wish Freddy Adu was out there, even.
39:00 – I guess Beckerman came on for Ricardo Clark. And he just took a left footed shot that looked like my left footed shot. And my lefty is WICKED AWESOME….not WICKED BAD, I promise.
40:00 – GOL! 4 – 1. This did end up pretty bad. Carlos Tevez shredded the US defense which was apparently smoking doobies back there while he torched them. Also Keller, not looking very good at all. Tevez looking world class though. How many more do you think they can get. As a US fan this game was more fun 20 minutes ago. Just saying. Tevez almost scored again. The defense is obviously pushing forward. I only know that because Argentina is scoring lots of goals, not because you can see a lot of the Nats on the attack.
42:30 – SUB Gago on for Veron…Sweet now’s our chance, Gago sucks yeah…He totally wouldn’t be the best player on the US team. Not AT ALL!
44:20 – Gaven kicked the ball near the Argentina goal, it went pretty fast. Cool.
45:45 – This is wrapping up. And even though it went the way everyone thought it would, I’m still bummed because for something like two great minutes, the United States was beating Argentina. Of course we only managed one shot on goal all game and talent won out in the long run and all that. But beyond that, I like when the US wins. And I hope they can figure a way to score some goals in the rest of their group games…because it isn’t too hard to advance beyond the group stage at this tournament.
GAME OVER 4-1 Argentina wins.
Man of the Match – Hernan Crespo.
So Eddie Johnson ran, no one helped him and he couldn’t do it alone. Benny Feilhaber did not play as inspired as everyone expected after he scored that goal. I had secretly hoped that he would transform into a world class player on the back of that goal against Mexico. It didn’t happen. But he wasn’t bad and he is young. So I think he will be the world’s best in like 6 years.
So US on zero points through one game. That’s all.
Thanks for reading.
