Preview
Indeed. US vs. Columbia, a futbol rivalry as old as time, between two teams that leave the Copa America fiesta early, while Mexico dances on into the night, with his sweaty arm wrapped around our date. Its a disappointing end to the Copa for both teams, because Columbia was supposedly a team on the rise, and the US was hoping desperately not to embarrass itself by sending a B-team. Now these two compadres in the global war on drugs are locked in a battle to the death to see which will be the bottom side in the Copa.
I think the US will trot out a much different starting 11 than we’ve seen against Argentina and the Guays, particular in the defense, at striker and between the pipes. K. Keller should have already been sent back to his castle in Germany, perhaps to pose for more enticing photo shoots. And while I love to see Ben Olsen, he’s not really a viable prospect for 2010 is he? Is he?!? I’d love to see some more Charlie Davies though…
Kickoff is at 6:35EST tonight, I’ll see you then. I think the US wins this one, 2-1 on a goal by Eddie Gaven (hah!)
US Lineup
Johnson
Mapp-Kljestan-Gomez
Beckerman-Clark-
Pearce-Boswell-Califf-Moor
Guzan
No real surprises here, seems like Bradley wants to see some of the new guys, and give Johnson another chance to get untracked in international matches. On to the match.
Kickoff
Columbia in yellow, the US in white and Huge Chavez in fits of laughter.
2nd Minute
Ugly early yellow for Drew Moor, who continues to suck.
4th Minute
Both teams look rough early, but some US guys just look lost in a full stadium with fans who’ve seen a match before. Close kick there from a US set piece.
5th Minute
Clark takes a long shot, he has been really aggresive so far in this tournament, and even gets some shots on net. Johnson has the look of a man who is being punished, or who might get dropped.
9th Minute
Heath Pierce has looked good early, he’s one guy in Europe I’d like to see more of. Especially since his girlfriend is a babe. And her name is not Feilhaber.
11th Minute
The US really lacks someone to hold the ball in the center of the park, which doesn’t explain some of these long Columbian runs into our half, but still worth mentioning.
13th Minute
There remains no consistency to our play at all, which is why Guzan looks like he’s going to have some sort of attack before the night is over.
15th Minute
Beckerman looks shocked to be in the game, but Hercules Gomez (what a great name) is adpating pretty well so far, the crowd at this match is absolutely insane.
16th Minute
GOL! 1-0 COLUMBIA
A long cross into the area from the right nets a nice header for Columbia, and our inexperience shows itself again. Drew Moor is made to look like he belongs in Minor League Soccer. Poor dude is in way over his head.
18th Minute
Free kick into the area for Columbia, and somehow in the resulting scramble we clear it out and force Columbia to re-set.
Reflecting on that goal, its obvious that we need to set the first-choice back four and just let them play together. Now we’ve seen the rawness of our back line hurt us in the Gold Cup and Copa America, they need to gel together.
21st minute
Columbia is just passing the ball around, waiting for a chance to break us open, holding it and waiting. Johnson breaks the press and draws a kick from the right, just outside the box. Mapp will swing it in. It bounces out to Sacha who does his best Benny impression, but it goes right to the keeper. Best shot of the night so far.
23rd Minute
Eddie Johnson is the only striker I’ve ever seen who would rather pass the ball back than shoot it. He’s like LeBron James, with much less skill and fewer children.
25th Minute
I am excited to see Guzan play in this match. Even with Tim Howard at the top of the GK ladder, these “young” guys need to keep developing for the future. Gomez is everything that Johnson isn’t, he runs with the ball and gets after defenders. I like him.
28th Minute
If this keeps up, Bradley looks like he might dismember someone at the half, just to make a point. If you were taking a shot after every poor US set piece in this tournament, you would be drunk dialing your own grandmother right now, claiming to be God.
30th Minute
Close free kick from the right for Columbia. I’m sure this would be much more interesting if my Spanish was better. Defensive middies everywhere for the US and still not much to show for it in possession of the futbol.
33rd Minute
I don’t know if they’ve heard, but someone should tell the US defenders that they’re allowed to pass the ball forward and to one another. Ooh, nice slide tackle there from Sacha and a Columbian isn’t dead, but looks like he might fake it if he thought it would work.
35th Minute
I sure hope none of the U-20 team is watching this match, they might be regressing…
Penalty coming for Columbia after Guzan makes a nice diving tackle in the box. And…Columbia is denied that was a really class diving save to his right by Guzan. Keller never did that…
38th Minute
Following two lousy corners and one moon shot from the top of the box, the US earns a goal kick. Nice English reference from the announcers, “Who are you? I’m the keeper!” and “Keeper. Goal, Keeper.” James Bond is classic even in Spanish.
40th Minute
Another nasty takedown by the US near the box as Clark slides in. Guzan looks like he’s feeling it after that penalty save. Nice kick off the wall comes to nada for Columbia.
41st Minute
There are a ton of Maradona look alikes at this match with Mullets and Argentina shirts. And the US blows another decent free kick from 28 yards. Sheesh.
44th Minute
For a 22 year old Guzan is looking more and more comfortable, even with this lineup in front of him. I bet they love him at Chivas…Nice move by Boswell to avoid a penalty as a Columbian dives over the ball. No yellows for diving tonight, that was atrocious….
The Columbians are not a very graceful people, except when making coffee or smuggling cocaine.
HALFTIME
After the first half its hard to get much of a feel for this match. Its obvious that the US fielded a side that haven’t played much together, since we haven’t done a great job of dictating pace or directing passes. Johnson continues to play a timid game, while Gomez looks like he would like some one to come and get the ball once and awhile. Drew Moor likes to cross the ball but can’t defend a lick. In the midfield Clark is still top of the line, while Sacha has some growing to do. I think if Feilhaber was inserted you’d see more control through the middle of the pitch, and probably a little stronger sense of purpose across the board. Guzan has played strong after giving up the header for a goal early on…I just can’t shake the feeling: WHY DID WE SEND A TEAM TO COPA AMERICA IF WE KNEW THEY WOULD SUCK THIS MUCH?
46th Minute
We brought in Eddie Gaven for Gomez? Really? I guess. Let the goal avalanche begin.
This feels like when your dad used to pass you the ball at the family-pick-up game, before you earned it. Its nice of Dad to include you, but everyone knows you don’t deserve it.
50th Minute
Offside for the US, and right now the Spanish announcers are listing every first team US player who isn’t at the Copa. Nice move. They said Donovan’s name twice. Because he’s a national embarassment.
52nd Minute
Is the Columbian keeper’s name really Robinson Zapata? Robby Shoes is shutting us out right now? Could we be more pathetic? Corner for the US, now swung in by Mapp to Gaven and it way over the net.
53rd Minute
Drew Moor makes Gooch look like John Terry. Which is not a compliment to any of the above. My mom just asked why he looks so out of place. I think he just hit Gaven in the face with a cross.
55th Minute
We look much more active this half, lets see if it lass with a corner coming up. It leads to nothing.
Kyle Beckerman’s hair is our best offensive weapon at this point. Backpass Johnson does what he does best, giving up the ball to a player who is not the dominant American striker in MLS. (and yes, I know how ridiculous that sentence sounds)
57th Minute
Guzan just made a nice punch out, he’s locked in right now, like he is really upset he missed the opening night of Transformers while watching the Kasey Keller Retirement Tour.
60th Minute
At this point, I’m almost hoping my Mac crashes so I don’t have to sit through 30 more minutes of this. Moor did something right with a clear to the middle and now the US is into the attack.
63rd Minute
I wonder if Bob has considered offering money for the first two players to string together more than 2 consecutive passes to their own teammates. It might work. Columbia looks pretty satisfied with a 1-0 win, which at this point means they’ll probably get it.
65th Minute
How did Juan Pablo Angel not make this Columbian side? Are they ethically opposed to scoring goals?
Charlie Davies comes on for Mapp, proving to his family that he IS on the team for real. Backpass Johnson continues to make a face like he smells something bad and then throw up his arms when he doesn’t get service.
68th Minute
Corner in from the right for the US goes all the way through the box, for naught. We’re taking a serious turn to negative town here folks.
72nd Minute
Here comes Lee Nguyen, let the goals commence! I guess his shoulder is feeling better, but his play so far in this tournament indicates otherwise.
74th Minute
If the US scores in this match, it will be completely by accident, good gracious.
76th Minute
And they are stretchering off a Columbian…thats a moral victory for the Red White and Blue.
78th Minute
Lee has looked pretty good so far actually.
80th Minute
If the comments are getting shorter, its only because my brain can’t deal with such horrible play but Davies and Lee (insert last name here) have inserted some good pace so far, but still no more chances to score.
82nd Minute
Lee drives a free kick into the box but here come the Columbians! Its a wide open foot race and the ball is cleared over the bar by…Lee? No way, that kid is all over the pitch.
85th Minute
Davies just got shoulder dropped on a free run, that looked pretty painful. Face+bone=not fun. Free kick is…wasted, and so are you if you’re playing the US Missed Set Piece Drinking Game.
86th Minute
Goal for Beckerman, but he was offside, and now Robby Shoes is taking his time tying his cleats, burning away precious minutes for the US. And there’s the yellow card for a delay of the game.
87th Minute
More time for US free kick depression to set in, but in the meantime the whole Columbian team is arguing with the referee about the yellow card.
89th Minute
After all this drama Robby Shoes is sent off after Columbia tried an illegal substitution? I think so. Shoes has given the shirt to some other Columbian and stormed off. 5 minutes of extra time after all the histrionics finish.
Injury Time
Columbia plays the ball into the corner. In hockey we call it icing, in soccer we call it strategy. Funny how that works.
Sacha has played some nice balls in for Davies, but nothing that has been finishable.
Beckerman’s hair is a joke, but his long passing is far from humorous at this point.
Columbia should start a seminar on diving and Gaven continues to look to the touchline to see if his mom will bring him a juicebox and some orange slices. He looks way out of his depth.
And a 10 man Columbian team with a field player in the net just finished off a shut out of the mighty USA. Good grief.
Final Thoughts
The US went out with a whimper rather than the bang we were hoping for. The bright spots to me are Davies and Lee Nguyen, who along with Guzan looked like the only 3 players excited to play for the US tonight. Eddie Johnson should be happy finishing his career in KC since he is still unimpressive to everyone, and Bob Bradley should go back to Sunil Gulati and request some more real international friendlies to get the team ready for real international competition. The Swiss and the Swedes just won’t cut it. Peace.
